How To Learn To Love Yourself


You love yourself, right?


Oh I know… you ‘love’ your kids, family, partner, dog, cat, turtle, new car. There are so many things to feel affection for.

Rarely does one utter: “I love myself.”

That would sound self-centered and creepy, wouldn’t it.


But Why?

Much of what we stress about – get sick about – comes from ignoring our own needs. We bury our innermost ‘wants,’ put the interests of others before us.

How unselfish.

Except that we invariably wake up one day feeling invalidated and angry.



Healthy love has to start with oneself.

Think of it this way: if the baby doesn’t scream for nourishment, or wail for a change of poopy diaper, and instead puts Mommy first, the baby does not survive.

As adults, we come to believe that primal urges (and needs) are no longer relevant.

We need to revisit the concept of selflessness, and to understand (or be introduced to) the concept of self-compassion.


And If You Don’t?

You willingly sit in the path of stress, ill health, steaming resentment, chaos. And then you blame others for feeling lousy.

Ah, but it’s not the fault of others. It’s your doing.

Because you need to love you. Better.


How To?

Why not start by finding out if you’re a self-compassionate person in the first place.

This excellent test will help you make that assessment.

It comes to you courtesy of Dr. Kristin Neff, an Associate Professor in Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Neff has extensive experience researching the validity and concept of self-compassion.


And Here’s What You Can Really Do To Love Yourself

Once you have tested yourself, here are some further ways to bolster that loving feeling. Click on the links for how to’s.

  • Say no and mean it.
  • Don’t please everyone else, to your own detriment.
  • Show yourself these 12 acts of kindness in your daily life to lovingly organize your time.
  • Know your temperament, and honour it.
  • Don’t willingly pile up your stress plates.
  • Learn how to curb your own negativity.
  • Review these 19 practices that can calm you down, improve your self-esteem, bolster your productivity.

Healthy, centred, balanced people protect, care for and fulfill themselves.

They don’t apologize for it.

Why should you?

This entry was posted on Friday, March 1st, 2013 at 8:05 am and is filed under Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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