Raise Self-Worth In 14 Ways (And Get Past The Hurt.)


low self esteem

I understand the hardship of low self-worth.

And I know first hand the many hardships connected with it.

What I also know is that people stay stuck. Or, they move forward.

If your self-worth is poor, you can work on it. After all, says Mark Tyrell, “low self esteem is a false perception of oneself.”

Conversely, says Keith Hillman, “Good self-esteem comes from seeing yourself in a strong and positive way.”

You are entitled to a positive perception of yourself. But it requires effort, and a will to change, every single day.


Why Would Your Self-Worth Be Low?

Only you can answer this question. But it can be teased out through your own self-reflection, or, by receiving professional guidance.

The most common reasons for low self-esteem include:

  • Poor support systems at home, school or work.
  • Traumatic event(s.)
  • Rejection by family members, peers, friends, society.
  • Not reaching standards expected by society.
  • Ongoing medical or mental health challenges.
  • Distorted beliefs.


Distorted Beliefs Alone Keep You Stuck

They include self-concepts such as the following.

  • I am powerless; life circumstances rule me.
  • It’s everyone else’s fault.
  • Life is hard, not fair.
  • I’m a failure.
  • I’m not important.
  • I have to look and act in a certain way.
  • I have to be something I’m not.
  • I’m not respected.
  • I never get what I want.

Life circumstances beyond your control may have impinged heavily upon your sense of self worth. And that’s not fair.

It’s also not your life sentence.


14 Ways To Raise Yourself Up

Remember that self-worth is flexible. It’s something you can always bend and shape into something better. (As long as you are willing to make the effort.)

Acknowledge Your Negative Thinking. “Negative thinking is the linchpin responsible for setting off low self-esteem,” says Deborah Serani, Psy.D. What you say to yourself is what you are. Help, here.

Stop Undermining Your Positive Accomplishments. Henrik Edberg recommends a “2 Minute Self-Appreciation Break.” List 3-5 things you do each day that you feel good about, and, keep a record of your ongoing general accomplishments. Refer to these lists regularly.

Get Therapy. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (and other like therapies) offer invaluable tools that can reframe one’s self-concept.

Being Envious Of Others. An exercise in self-loathing that must be acknowledged and addressed. Insights, here.

Perfectionism. Human beings make mistakes. Perfectionism is contrary to reality. More, here.

Self-Pity. “People who wallow in self-pity want validation for their feelings, justification for their tears and sorrows…” says Ashley Fern. But. Reacting via (‘poor me’) instead of acting (getting help) will get you nowhere.

How You Talk to Yourself.  When you say nasty things to yourself, be aware. Snap an elastic band – hard – and stop the negative talk. Similarly, when you’re feeling good, say, “I’m feeling happy right now!” Reminders that positive moments happen, too, are important.

Bad Influences. Yes, those Facebook profiles. They place a seemingly fabulous (but false) spin on other people’s lives. Don’t be a masochist. Stay away from any sources of influence that depress your spirit.

Relationships. Associate with people who honour your strengths.

Uplift Yourself. Post uplifting reminders, inspirational quotes, humorous memes in places where you can see them regularly.

Pursue Your Talents. Your passions and skills confirm the truth: you’re worthy, valuable, one of a kind.

Failure. Change your attitude about it. In order to know what success is, failure must at times occur.

The Blame Game. “It’s everyone else’s fault.” This is a transparent gauge of low self-worth. When you’re about to blame someone for the direction that your life is taking, say this to yourself instead: “What can I DO about this?”


Now Get Working

Forgive yourself for having low self-worth. Life happened, something or someone hurt you badly, you are coping with pain, betrayal, loss. Your feelings belong to you, only you, and are legitimate.

They just need not rule your self-worth.

You are entitled to raise what was lowered. 

Boosting self-esteem is essential for overall wellness. Watch what happens when you make it your highest priority for the rest of your life. Is there any goal more important?

steady self-esteem

Recommended Further Reading

Mark Tyrell “How to Boost Self-Esteem” 

Ashley Fern, “Why Do People Enjoy Receiving Pity?”

Ben Martin, Psy.D., “Indepth: Cognitive Behaviourial Therapy.” 

“Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.”



This entry was posted on Saturday, March 18th, 2017 at 1:23 am and is filed under Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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