Can You Avoid A ‘Serious’ Depression?

By Abby Gardiner, M.A.
December 13, 2018
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By Abby Gardiner | December 13, 2018

 

You don’t want to fall into The Deep Dark Well.

You don’t want the sensations of being paralyzed and immobile.

You don’t want your “normal” to seem normal no more.

You don’t want to cope with the brain fog, confusion, terror and disorientation.

“If I can’t feel, if I can’t move, if I can’t think, and I can’t care, then what conceivable point is there in living?” – Kay Redfield Jamison.

You don’t want to ask yourself that terrifying question.

No. You don’t want a serious depression.

 

Is “Avoidance” Possible?

I’m not a doctor. I can’t speak for other people. I can’t speak to the struggles others have with ongoing, challenging mental health issues.

What I do know from personal experience is that “serious” depression (as opposed to mild or moderate depression, where one can still function) is a Terrifying Hell Of An Eye Opener.

If you survive it, life changes. And if it doesn’t change, it better.

When I survived the Big One in 2005, I vowed that I would never endure another.

 

Depression Lessons

What I learned from my depression is that unhinged, uncontrolled stress is dangerous.

I found this out when a member of my family had a major health crisis. Uncertainty being the devil for anxious people, I launched myself (like a rocket) into a cosmos of catastrophization and rumination. Would my family member be okay…Why was this happening…How could I fix this…Surely I could make this better…

An over-thinking, over-feeling freefall. One that lasted for weeks.

Then with nary a warning, my ruminations ended.

A blackout began.

The Deep Dark Well was in sight.

A serious depression was beginning.

Turns out that the body and mind doesn’t care how difficult your life circumstances are, nor does it care how frantic you feel.

No, the body and mind has its own agenda, and it decides when it has endured enough punishment.

 

Tough Words About Depression Prevention

You can ‘milk’ a depression, consider it an attention grabber, believe that you have ‘earned’ it somehow (life is hard, after all), or, you can learn from it.

I decided to learn from my depression, because to do otherwise would be stupid.

I had to change. I had to find different ways of being, relating, reacting.

These are the changes that I deemed necessary then, and still do now. I recommend each of them highly, in the name of serious depression prevention:

 

(1) Monitor Your Stress Levels.

All forms of stress count. They all add up.

So monitor your stress. Keep an eye on it. Just as you would an ominous sniffle when you think a cold is coming.

When stress builds, don’t ignore it. Do something about it. 

Suggestions follow.

 

(2) Monitor Your Behaviour.

If you have the tendency to be excitable, overreact, or dramatize, I have 2 words for you: SETTLE. DOWN.

Excitability is a form of stress.

Learn to speak a little more quietly. Talk more slowly. Eat more slowly. React differently. BREATHE.

Easy to do? No. But your behaviour and reactions are 100% up to you.

How to be less reactive, here.

 

(3) Limit Negative/Overwhelming Stimulation.

“You are a mashup of what you let into your life,” says artist Austin Kleon.

Damn right.

Exposure to ongoing negativity is harmful. Especially when it floods in daily, a tidal wave, via TV, screens or social media. But. The choice to endure it (and suffer from it) IS yours.

Take responsibility for what you watch, who you ‘follow’ and who you associate with – online and otherwise.

If you scroll for hours on your phone and then feel anxious or depressed, sorry: Own It. The findings are clear: endless screen time creeping your peers, or exposing yourself to the worst forms of social media is negativity and drama that will never be in your best interests.

 

(4) Work Hard At Sleeping Well. 

The body and mind cares very deeply about how well you sleep.

Good sleep heals the body from the ravages you impose on it daily. Lousy sleep does the opposite.

Is it simple to get a good night’s sleep? No, sometimes it’s not.

That’s why it’s so important to consider ideas such as sleep hygiene, otherwise known as sleep preparation. Think of how a baby is gently lulled to slumber – with a calming book, subdued lighting, soft music, a ‘clean’ snack, a warm bath. Adults should prepare for sleep in the same gentle manner. We expect good sleep, no matter our habits, but no, it doesn’t work like that. Tips about sleep hygiene, here.

Also. Not my business…but do you sleep with a partner? Studies and anecdotal evidence suggests that sharing a bed is not conducive to healthy sleep.

I offer my own frank conclusions about sleeping with a partner here.

 

(5) Stick To A (Mostly) ‘Clean’ Diet. 

What a pain, but yes – a clean diet is pivotal for stabilizing mood, improving sleep, and for overall well being.

This does not mean a life of food deprivation.

It means that you take responsibility for the fact that there is real connection between food, mood, sleep and health.

OWN what you consume. What you consume will affect your wellbeing.

 

(6) Get Your Poison Out.

Don’t allow major life problems to fester. That’s dormant stress, always laying there, never resolved. Find a therapist, objective professional, or close friend to help you air your troubles.

 

(7) Be Proactive About Daily Stressors.

In every person’s life there are people and situations that cause stress.

Alter your reactions. YOU are worth staying calm for.

Be courageous: decide how much (or little) time you must spend with difficult people and situations. Assertively build healthy boundaries that protect you from that which drains and harms you. This is called self-esteem building.

My thoughts on boundary setting, here.

 

(8) Take Care of “Who” You Really Are.

Are you an introvert, extrovert, or something in between?

Temperament and personality dictates how we function, behave, relate to the world, and handle other people.

If you regularly extend yourself beyond your temperament, because everyone else expects you to, this too is a form of (high) stress.

Take care of your temperament. Challenge it occasionally, sure, and hand it some tough love sometimes, but also get to know and accept it.

 

(9) End The ‘People Pleasing’.

People pleasing is a sign that you are broken and chronically stressed.

The need to win love or fix others is self-destructive, exhausting, and unhealthy on so many levels.

More about this from a (recovering) People Pleasing Queen, here.

 

(10) Quit It With Your Ideas About Perfection.

Perfectionism is a secret fear of failure. It’s self-hatred. It is the opposite of self-compassion.

You can achieve a great deal in life (I keep telling myself), without beating yourself up, putting yourself down, wearing yourself out, expecting the moon from others or having a breakdown.

Tips on overcoming perfectionism here.

 

(11) Stop Holding Your Breath. 

Many people hold their breath in when under stress.

Conversely, breathing deeply, particularly when under stress, is instantly calming and restores equilibrium.

Remember to breathe properly and deeply. It’s rather essential.

Great tips, here.

 

(12) Learn About Meditation.

I did not learn to meditate until after my serious depression. I would not go without regular meditation now.

Meditation slows life down – in mere minutes. It also offers perspective, common sense, positivity, health benefits. Its lingering, calming effects trickle down…to all parts of your life. Don’t miss out on this supreme relaxation technique. It’s there whenever you need it and it is such a comfort.

How I discovered the ‘best’ and ‘easiest’ way to meditate, here. 

 

(13) Exercise.

I don’t mean only when the doctor urges you to. I mean exercising regularly because it is wildly beneficial for your health (and because you love yourself) – especially because exercise elevates mood and eases ruminations. In fact, regular exercise is helpful for upwards of 80 reasons (and probably far more). Read those reasons here.

 

(14) Consider Medication.

Sometimes high anxiety and stress can be managed by holistic, natural methods alone. Great. But when stress is chronic and unchecked, and you feel it building to an unhealthy level, and not relenting, talk to your doctor or mental health professional. You may require medication to help to control anxiety. Remember that too much stress is dangerous.

 

 Prevention Outcomes

My last serious depression occurred in 2005. I have not had a recurrence.

I’m lucky. So far.

But there is more to this than that.

I have been fiercely devoted to prevention. I insist on it. Because of this, I’m no longer a sitting duck.

Furthermore, I now understand what it really means to take care of myself. I now address self-destructive behaviours and see them for what they are. My boundaries are no longer as flimsy as chiffon. I finally protect my health for all the right reasons. 

The irony is that astounding and helpful lessons can be learned from a serious depression.

The trick is to know them and try to incorporate them into your life before a serious depression hits.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2018 at 11:00 am and is filed under Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

comments

While I don't publish all comments, I welcome and appreciate your feedback and participation. If you'd prefer to keep your comment 'private,' please use my contact form (located on my website menu) and indicate this. I will happily respond to all comments and questions.

  1. May 29th, 2014 | L. Nastle says:

    You really make it seem so easy with your presentation, but I don’t think I will ever understand this topic.
    It’s so complicated.

  2. June 13th, 2014 | abby says:

    Depression is very complicated. I’m only offering my own interpretation, from my own experience, which, if it resonates with one person, may help them.

  3. December 12th, 2014 | S. Marriott says:

    Really informative. I appreciate you spending time and energy to put this together.

  4. December 13th, 2014 | Emery H. says:

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    would just like to say kudos for a remarkable post and an all round exciting blog (I also
    love the theme/design)…I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the fantastic work.

  5. January 1st, 2015 | abby says:

    Very kind, thank you.

leave a comment

While I don't publish all comments, I welcome and appreciate your feedback and participation. If you'd prefer to keep your comment 'private,' please use my contact form (located on my website menu) and indicate this. I will happily respond to all comments and questions.